Planning a family is one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make. For some families, adoption might be something they’ve dreamed about their whole lives, while for others, adoption might be a new idea they’ve never considered before. Regardless of your situation, it is important you understand how to decide if adoption is right for you. Here are some tips to help you address the most important considerations for adopting a child.
What Are the Reasons You Want to Adopt?
This is an important first question you should ask yourself before you adopt. It helps you understand your motivation. Some common reasons for adoption include:
- You have accepted your infertility and are ready to grow your family: If you have experienced infertility and you have taken the time to come to terms with your infertility, then adoption provides a way to build a loving family. However, if you don’t take time to grieve, you may be at the risk of adopting a child to fill a void.
- Offering a new start to a child: Many children needing adoptive homes from foster care have experienced real suffering in their young lives. The idea of offering a home to a child who is healing from past traumas is a sign you are interested in facing challenges along with the child. You have a true interest in offering them a loving home with an opportunity to lead a fulfilling life.
- Adopting an orphan: Sometimes people choose to adopt a child from another country who is left without parents. In these cases, your motivation should stem from your desire to provide a home for a child in need.
If your reasons for adopting are based on wanting to share your love with a child that focuses on the child’s needs, then the decision to adopt is more than likely right for you.
What Are Your Expectations About the Adoption Process?
Adoption is not exactly an easy process, and is filled with ups and downs. Therefore you need to make sure you are prepared for any difficulties you might encounter. To learn more about the adoption process, you should speak to an adoption professional so that you understand how the adoption process of a child works. You need to understand what options and routes of adoption are available and what the process entails. You also have to have the coping mechanisms to deal with the road bumps along your adoption journey.
Being realistic about things not working out quite as you imagine is also a must. It is easy to imagine adopting the perfect child, forming an instant bond, and living happily ever after, but this is not always the case. There can be emotional strain involved in adoption, so you have to be prepared to take on any challenges that could arise.
Are There Any Issues You Need to Work Through Prior to Adopting?
If you are suffering from issues such as grief, loss, trauma, or abuse, you have to take time to come to terms with these issues before considering adoption. As a parent, you want to make sure you can live with past issues without the risk of passing that burden on to your adopted child. As already discussed, you also have to ensure you have worked through grief regarding any infertility and the loss of having a biological child. Working out your own issues prior to adopting a child is a priority for adopting parents.
Is Adoption Right For Your Family?
If you have a partner, your motivation should be shared equally by you and your partner. If your primary motivation for adoption is an open heart love that is focused on the needs of a child, then chances are you have the right focus needed to remain committed to your adoption journey from the start.
If you have any questions about adoption, you can easily contact us at Adoption & Beyond and we will be happy to help.
Interested in learning more about The Ultimate Guide to Adopting a Child? Check out our entire hopeful adoptive parents guide here.
Interested in learning more about Placing Your Child for Adoption in Kansas and Missouri? Check out our entire expecting parents guide here.