Adoption for Birth Mothers: The Most Common Core Emotions

Adoption, Birth Mothers, Life After Adoption

Becoming a parent can be an amazing and intimidating experience. For those who are not yet ready for parenthood or additional children, adoption is a safe and courageous option to give your child a family. 

Exploring adoption can be difficult. Birth parent emotions may range from fear and sadness to peace and relief. At Adoption & Beyond, we work with prospective birth parents, adoptive parents to help you determine the best path for you and your child and support you in whichever path you select. One of the ways we support prospective birth parents is by providing as much information as possible about your choices and the way you may feel once those decisions are made. Here, we’ll discuss common birth parent emotions and why it’s important to let yourself experience your feelings fully.

The Guilt of Letting Go

For many expecting women considering adoption, the first emotion experienced is guilt. While this emotion is valid, it is important to remember that you are exploring adoption to ensure that your child has everything they deserve in a loving home where they will be cared for and loved dearly.  Making this decision for your child takes courage and selflessness.

This feeling of guilt is sometimes accompanied by a fear of rejection by friends and family members. Finding a close-knit support group goes a long way toward helping you navigate this difficult time and understanding why it was the best choice for you at the time. Adoption is an extremely personal choice and one which cannot be understood by those who have never experienced it.

Feelings of Loss

As a birth mother, there is a sensation of loss associated with placing a child for adoption. Having carried a baby for nine months, this is a normal and valid emotion to experience. It is okay for you to mourn the loss of your child, even if the loss was a choice you made for the wellbeing of yourself and your baby.

Speaking with other birth mothers about their experiences sometimes helps ease these emotions and provides clarity on how your loss has strengthened the life of your baby. Experiencing our emotions is important, but it’s also good to focus on the positive side of the decisions you have made. As a result of choosing adoption, your baby is placed with a loving family, and you’re selflessly doing what you feel will be best for your child now and forever.

Feelings of Peace, Strength and Relief

Exploring or choosing adoption is no easy emotional journey. Birth parents who place their child for adoption go through a natural grieving process. They also commonly feel a sense of peace, strength, and relief from their decision. 

When birth mothers give themselves permission to feel all the emotions that come along with adoption, they often reach a place where they find peace in their decision and grow stronger from the experience. When you recognize and whole-heartedly believe that you are courageously doing what is best for your child, you will find hope and peace in your decision.

Don’t be Afraid to Ask for Help

During such an emotional experience, having support helps you to focus on what’s best for you and your child. Adoption & Beyond is a licensed non-profit adoption agency serving families in Missouri and Kansas. Working with expecting birth parents is an important part of what we do at Adoption & Beyond. You play an essential role in the life of your child, and we want to help you make decisions that you feel good about.

Life and family are important to us, and we feel blessed to have the opportunity to help so many families with their adoption journey. Our friendly and compassionate team is here to help you at each stage of the adoption process. If you are a prospective birth parent considering adoption, we are here to support you. For more information about Adoption & Beyond and our adoption services, please contact us today 913-271-3554 (call or text). 

Interested in learning more about Placing Your Child for Adoption in Kansas and Missouri?  Check out our entire guide here.

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