Debunking Birth Mother Myths


Today we’re diving into a topic that’s often clouded by myths and misconceptions: birth mothers in adoption. You know, those stories that come from a place of fear and misunderstanding? Yeah, those ones. But here’s the thing—these myths aren’t just harmless tales. They can actually make life tougher for birth moms who need support the most. By busting these myths, we not only clear up the air but also get a better grip on what adoption is all about.

Just a heads up – in this blog, we’re using the term “birth mom” to refer to women who have already given birth and placed their child for adoption. When a woman is still pregnant and considering adoption, we typically refer to her as an “expecting parent” not a “birth mom.” We make this distinction to acknowledge their courageous decision and the unique journey they’ve undertaken.

So, grab a seat, and let’s get real about birth mothers and adoption.


Myth #1: Birth Mothers Don’t Love Their Children

It’s time to dispel this harmful myth once and for all. Picture this: a young woman, facing an unexpected pregnancy, makes the agonizing decision to place her child for adoption. Does she do this out of indifference or lack of love? Absolutely not. In fact, I’ve seen firsthand the incredible love and devotion birth mothers have for their children. They wrestle with their decision, often sacrificing their own desires for the sake of their child’s future.


Myth #2: Birth Mothers Will Reclaim Their Children

Throughout my years of working in adoption, I’ve never encountered a birth mother seeking to reclaim her child. These remarkable women courageously choose adoption because they believe it offers their child the best opportunities in life. Through open adoption, they maintain connections with their child and adoptive families, ensuring their child’s happiness and well-being.


Myth #3: Birth Mothers Are All Drug Users

Let’s break down this stereotype. While some birth mothers may struggle with substance abuse, it’s crucial to recognize that the majority do not. Many are young women facing complex circumstances, with hopes and dreams beyond their current situation. By painting all birth mothers with the same brush, we overlook the resilience and strength they possess.


Myth #4: Birth Mothers Are All Teenagers

You might think that birth mothers are mostly teenagers, but guess what? That’s not always the case! Many birth mothers are actually in their early twenties or older. These women might already be parenting other children and are making the tough choice to place their baby for adoption because they believe it’s the best for their family’s future. Others might be focused on their education or career goals and feel that parenting right now isn’t the right fit.


Myth #5: Birth Mothers Move on Without Grieving

Placing a child for adoption is a deeply emotional journey for birth mothers. They experience a profound sense of loss and grief, often grappling with feelings of sadness and longing. It’s essential to acknowledge and honor their emotions, offering support and understanding as they navigate this challenging process.


Myth #6: Birth Mothers Don’t Care About Where Their Child Ends Up

On the contrary, birth mothers play an active role in choosing the right family for their child. They carefully review profiles, meet prospective adoptive parents, and establish relationships based on trust and connection. Their dedication to finding the best possible future for their child is unwavering.

I hope this deeper dive into the world of birth mothers sheds light on their reality and dispels some of the myths surrounding their experiences.

You can watch a video on this topic here: 

Remember, if you’re considering adoption, you’re not alone. Adoption & Beyond is here to support you every step of the way. Discover all six avenues of adoption in Adoption & Beyond’s comprehensive mini-course. From domestic to international adoption, we’ve got you covered with easy-to-follow modules that break down each option’s requirements and next steps. Start your adoption journey with knowledge and empowerment—enroll in the Avenues of Adoption Mini-Course today!

This blog post is provided for educational and informational purposes only. Our services are not financial, business or legal advice. The information presented here is not a guarantee that you will obtain any results or earn any money using our content. Adoption & Beyond, Inc. owns all copyrights to the materials presented here unless otherwise noted.

Steffany ave

Founder & Director

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Meet Steffany Aye, the heart behind Adoption & Beyond since its inception in 1998. Fueled by a deep passion for supporting both birth and adoptive parents, Steffany's journey as an adoptive parent has continued the foundation for this non-profit adoption agency.

Drawing from more than 25 years of dedicated experience, Steffany and her team are committed to crafting warm, thriving families through child-centered adoptions. Their inclusive services, free from any form of discrimination, reflect Steffany's unwavering dedication to the beautiful tapestry of adoption.

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