Check out the video on my YouTube channel HERE.
Hey there, adoption seekers! Let’s chat about a super important part of the adoption journey: the relationship between adoptive parents and birth parents. Getting to know and respect birth parents’ wishes can really make your adoption journey smoother and more joyful. So, grab your favorite snack and get ready to dive into these top six insights that birth parents want you to know. Ready? Let’s go!
They Aren’t Coming Back for Their Child
Okay, let’s squash this common fear right away: birth parents aren’t planning a surprise return to whisk their child away. When they choose private adoption, it’s a thoughtful decision with you in mind. They trust you to be their child’s forever family, so relax! There’s no “take-backs” option here, they’re not hiding in the bushes somewhere, they really, truly, want you to raise that child—promise!
Keep Your Promises
Speaking of promises! Promises made during the adoption process are more than just words—they’re commitments. Birth parents need to know you’re the real deal, not just a flakey person who says one thing and does another. For example, if you’ve promised to send monthly updates with photos or to have regular visits, make it a priority. Consistent updates and follow-through show that you’re dependable. And especially don’t make a pinky swear you can’t keep – pinky swears are serious business!
Birth Parents Are Human Too
It might seem like a no-brainer, but it’s worth repeating: birth parents are people with emotions and dreams just like you. They’re navigating their own rollercoaster of feelings, which might be a mix of hope, sadness, and joy. Let’s say they’ve shared a heartfelt letter with you about their dreams for their child. Acknowledge those feelings and show empathy. It’s like supporting a friend through a tough time—respect and kindness make all the difference. Treat them with compassion, and you’ll find that empathy can be the secret ingredient to a fantastic relationship!
They Want to Get to Know You
Before the baby arrives, birth parents are eager to get to know you. Think of it like a pre-adoption meet-and-greet! Imagine having a long lunch with them where you chat about your favorite family traditions, and your hopes for the future, and maybe even share some laughs. Spending time together helps build trust and makes sure everyone’s on the same page. It’s like laying the groundwork for a strong partnership. Show them who you are—your quirks, your hobbies, and your values (Invite them to see that custom Star Wars game room!) —and let them feel confident in their choice.
They Support You as Parents
Birth parents aren’t here to overshadow you—they’re your biggest supporters! They chose you to be their child’s parents, and they’re rooting for you all the way. So, when you hit those parenting milestones—like navigating the “first day of school” jitters or tackling bedtime routines—know that they’re cheering you on. It’s like having an extra set of fans on your side, giving you a boost whenever you need it.
Keep Them in the Loop
Communication is your BFF in adoption. Birth parents love staying updated about their child’s milestones and adventures. Think of them as your kid’s long-distance buddy, who might not be able to attend every soccer game or birthday party but still wants to know all the exciting details. Whether it’s a first step, a new tooth, or a family vacation, keeping them informed shows you value their role. Regular updates and sharing those “aww” moments help maintain a strong, respectful relationship and keeps everyone feeling connected.
Understanding and respecting birth parents’ perspectives is key to a healthy adoption journey. By keeping these six insights in mind, you can build a stronger, more positive relationship with your child’s birth parents. And remember, navigating adoption can be a roller coaster, but it’s worth it for the incredible adventure of building your family. So, stay committed, keep communication open, and don’t be afraid to crack a joke or two to lighten the mood. You’ve got this!
Watch the full video on this topic here.
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This blog post is provided for educational and informational purposes only. Our services are not financial, business, or legal advice. The information presented here is not a guarantee that you will obtain any results or earn any money using our content. Adoption & Beyond, Inc. owns all copyrights to the materials presented here unless otherwise noted.