Birth Parent’s Grief and Loss during Voluntary Placement

Adoption, Blog, Families, Thoughts

Choosing to place a child for adoption is not an easy decision as an expecting parent.

This decision and the emotions that come with it can often be overlooked. It is completely normal for birth parents to experience grief and loss at many different times in this journey.

The circumstances that lead expecting parents to place their child for adoption vary case by case. Sometimes, placing a child for adoption is out of the parent’s control. Other times, they may feel ill-equipped or like they are not in the right place in life to parent a child. Some birth parents may want their child to grow up in a two-parent household. Regardless of the circumstances, it is not an easy decision. 

One thing that is important for a birth mom who has given birth is to spend time with her baby.

At first, this might seem counter-intuitive. But the reality is that it’s difficult for the birth mom to say goodbye to something she has not said hello to. To grieve properly, it is important for the mother to bond with her baby. This may be anxiety-inducing for adoptive parents who are afraid the birth mom will get attached and reconsider placing her baby for adoption. This does happen. However, if the birth mother still feels like adoption is the right plan, it is still the healthiest option for the baby and her to bond after birth. 

If you are looking into private adoption, keep this in mind. Birth parents truly want what is best for their child and love their child, even if they are voluntarily placing the child for adoption.

If you’re interested in learning more about birth parents and their journey, I recommend visiting

They share resources and stories from birth mothers that give a better look into the decision of placing a child.

What did you think of this week’s All About Adoption Episode? Do you have any questions about the grief birth parents may experience in adoption? We’d love to hear them!

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Steffany ave

Founder & Director

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Meet Steffany Aye, the heart behind Adoption & Beyond since its inception in 1998. Fueled by a deep passion for supporting both birth and adoptive parents, Steffany's journey as an adoptive parent has continued the foundation for this non-profit adoption agency.

Drawing from more than 25 years of dedicated experience, Steffany and her team are committed to crafting warm, thriving families through child-centered adoptions. Their inclusive services, free from any form of discrimination, reflect Steffany's unwavering dedication to the beautiful tapestry of adoption.

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