7 Questions to ask when vetting your adoption professional

Adoption, Blog, Families, Parenting, Thoughts

How do you know the right questions to ask? There are so many decisions that need to be made, and you don’t know what you don’t know.

Having over 27 years of experience as an adoption professional myself, I know exactly which questions you should ask in order to set your adoption experience up for long-term success.

Based on my recent video, here are 7 questions to ask, when vetting your adoption professional:

  1. Where does the money go?
    It is very important that the adoption professional you’re working with is very transparent about their fees for services. It shouldn’t be a secret who you’re hiring and what their fees are.
  2. What kinds of adoptions do they facilitate?
    There are over 6 different types of adoption. These include agency, consultant, embryo, private (or what I call DIY adoption), foster care, and international adoption. You need to know; does your adoption professional help with all of them? It’s important to find an agency that can help you with as many of those types of adoptions as possible.
  3. How do they support the expecting mom before & after placement?
    Knowing how they treat their expecting moms will be really important. Be sure to align yourself with an agency that is reputable and treats moms well.
  4. Do they provide separate legal counsel for the expecting mom?
    This is a big one for me! Though I understand it’s legal in some states, I don’t feel it’s best practice for the expecting mom and the hopeful adoptive parents to share the same legal representation. Each party should have its own adoption attorney.
  5. What support do they provide to hopeful adoptive parents before and after placement?
    It’s not only important how they support the expecting mom, it’s important how they support you too! Adoption is not a one-time event. Find someone who is also there for you after placement. This might look like providing resources and training. I’m a big advocate of education!
  6. How long are they there for support?
    Some adoption professionals may say they offer long-term support. But how do they define long-term? Are they only there for x number of months after placement to support you, or are they available for the lIfetime of the agency? You want to find someone who’s there to support you long-term, as you define long-term.
  7. Do they encourage and practice open adoption?
    Research has shown open adoption is better for everyone, not only the child (though primarily, yes), but also for the adoptive family and the birth family as well. This is why I am a huge advocate for open adoption. Is your adoption professional there to support open adoption as time goes on?

I hope you found these 7 vetting questions helpful as you navigate your adoption process. Though it may seem like a lot, just remember doing the work on the front end will make a world of difference in the long run.

What did you think of this week’s All About Adoption episode? Balancing multiple adoptions can be tricky, but with the right approach and perspective, you can make it work!

What are other adoption questions you may have? We’d love to hear them! Make sure you leave a comment below!

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Steffany ave

Founder & Director


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Meet Steffany Aye, the heart behind Adoption & Beyond since its inception in 1998. Fueled by a deep passion for supporting both birth and adoptive parents, Steffany's journey as an adoptive parent has continued the foundation for this non-profit adoption agency.

Drawing from more than 25 years of dedicated experience, Steffany and her team are committed to crafting warm, thriving families through child-centered adoptions. Their inclusive services, free from any form of discrimination, reflect Steffany's unwavering dedication to the beautiful tapestry of adoption.

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