At Adoption & Beyond, we love to take the time to connect with families and answer any questions they have throughout the adoption process. We also love to hear stories from adoptive families and see how their lives have been touched by adoption.
We asked adoptive mom Veronica Hamer, “What does life look like after adoption?” and also, “What’s one thing you wished you would have known when you started the adoption process?” We’re grateful for her responses and that she was willing to share her story with us. Here’s what she said:
WHAT DOES LIFE LOOK LIKE AFTER ADOPTION?
In a nutshell, our lives have been changed both beautifully and not at all by adoption. Our family was a family of five before we adopted our sibling group of three. They were 9.5, 8 and almost 6 years old when they came home to the US. Just Michael (my husband) and I had many weeks in Poland bonding with them. They are amazing children and our love for each other grew then. Their desire to be loved by their siblings was very strong – they couldn’t wait to get home to the US to meet them. Our three older boys couldn’t wait to “love on” these new little ones. So, there were very little adjustments needing to be made on that front.
Our third biological son was no longer “the baby”…but at 16 years old, he wasn’t terribly worried about that. His life was very full with school, sports, work and friends. However, from the time that all of my boys were young, I have always made it a point to spend individual time with each of them. I kept an eye on him because his place in the family changed. Our 9.5-year-old son’s place in the family changed, as well. He went from being the oldest to being the 4th son. He really enjoyed this change. He loves having older brothers to teach him, play with him…to tell him he has good ideas, etc.
The little ones adjusted to life in our home and family with absolute ease. We enrolled them in our Catholic school where they were welcomed with open arms. Their brothers graduated from there and I worked in the parish office for a time, so they were expected and loved on arrival. As my littlest one says to me often, “Mommy, I love LOVE.”
So, while they are not “perfect” children, they are perfect for us.
Life changed beautifully because we added three wonderful children to our family. And… Life changed not at all because while it is busier, life is the same as before we adopted. My husband and I have loved one another as a married couple for 27 years. We have a wonderful group of like-minded friends. We have our individual interests and are a part of a few different groups/clubs. We are active in our Catholic faith. Our children are our favorite people in the world. Being home is the best place…our children feel the same – which is fun and makes for a full house. Our children are the joy of our lives.
WHAT’S ONE THING YOU WISHED YOU WOULD HAVE KNOWN WHEN YOU STARTED THE ADOPTION PROCESS?
I wish I had known the importance of the in-country facilitator.
I researched to find the best agency that we could have to handle our international adoption, and my agency (on the state side) was AMAZING. Their office staff was SO good to us. They were knowledgeable, efficient, caring, and responsive (Plus, they led us to our local agency – Adoption and Beyond – who we LOVE!!).
With the help of an online adoption group, we contacted and hired a translator. She was truly our angel. Her time, talent and love saved our family. After the time she was able to give to us, we were able to communicate with the children and the following weeks in-country were a special time that we will not forget.
INTERESTED IN LEARNING MORE ABOUT ADOPTION?
If you have any questions about the adoption process, or if you’d like to know more, you can easily contact us and we will be happy to help.
Interested in learning more about The Ultimate Guide to Adopting a Child? Check out our entire guide here.
Interested in learning more about The Ultimate Guide to Family Life After Adoption? Check out our entire guide here.