It’s important to note that when you’re adopting a child out of state, you’re going to have to spend time within that other state before you’re able to bring your child back home. Today’s post will dive into adopting a child out of state and the essential things you need to know. Here are my best tips for adopting a child out of town and surviving the process:
1. Know the hospital procedures in that state.
When you’re working with an agency, they will contact the hospital social worker and find out what the hospital procedures are in the other state. However, if you’re doing a self-matching adoption, which is something that we help families with as well, then you’ll be doing the steps of contacting the hospital social worker yourself to find out whether you can stay in the hospital and what your role can be if the mom allows you to be there. Knowing this information will help you plan whether you will need accommodations for when the mom and baby are in the hospital.
2. Be prepared to stay in a hotel for several days.
Something else to prepare for is possibly staying in the state for 7 to 10 days. You will have to remain in the state during that time to process all the paperwork between the two states that will allow the baby to move from one state to another. However, it could be longer over the holidays, like Christmas or Thanksgiving. If you get stuck in that time, just see it as a blessing; you will have your child, you will get through this, and you will get home.
We’re in Kansas City, so we straddle two states, Kansas and Missouri. Unfortunately, if a family lives in Kansas and their child is four miles over in Missouri, they can’t just bring the baby to Kansas. That can be frustrating because you’re so close to home, but it’s important to note that only the baby has to stay in the state. So if one of you needs to go home to work, that’s fine.
3. Ensure your agency or attorney has all the information they need.
Another important thing to remember is to ensure that your agency or attorney has everything they need to file the Interstate Compact for Children (ICPC) paperwork and get that process rolling. However, the ICPC can’t start until the baby is released from the hospital. Certain circumstances could prolong the time in the hospital, like having a child in the NICU.
ICPC timing is out of everyone’s control. Please refrain from attempting to rush the agency. Just trust the process. They know the priority of these cases. You may bond with your new baby in a hotel room, waiting for the paperwork to process. This experience may be awkward or frustrating, but remember that everyone is working as quickly as possible.
Everyone’s adoption journey has its own unique challenges. Find patience in the process.
Learn about adoption and all that comes along with it by taking the All About Adoption 101 course.
