Navigating The Uncertainties In Adoption

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Just like any major life change, adoption comes with many unknowns. It’s fair to want to find answers to these unknowns, but the reality is that uncertainty will be there. Because of that, we can tend to anticipate disaster, which is incredibly unnerving, to say the least. Adoption is no exception. Many hopeful adoptive families experience anxiety with the process.

Here are some tips that can help you navigate the uncertainties of the adoption process.

Prepare yourself for any outcome. You may be worried that you won’t be matched or that after labor, the mom will decide not to place her child for adoption. Both are possibilities, and I assure you that you will come through no matter what happens. 75% of adoptions end up in placement. Remaining cautiously optimistic is the best way to handle this, and remind yourself that no matter the outcome, you’ll continue to work toward forming your family.
Wait on making any nursery purchases. It can be very tempting to throw a baby shower or build a nursery, but I advise against this. Should your adoption not result in placement, it can be incredibly painful to return those objects and can result in a longer mourning period. Grief is very complicated, and having to return those items can make it more painful. Save the purchases and baby shower until after placement.
Make an announcement after placement. Naturally, you want to share the great news with friends and colleagues about your adoption. However, should it fall through, you may have to relive it by explaining it to others. Of course, it can be therapeutic to connect with close friends and family, and that’s okay. So, instead of sharing with everyone, keep a list of friends or family that you know you can confide in and count on to support you no matter the result of your adoption journey.
Maintain a routine. Between building your adoption profile and placement, anything can happen, and focusing on every detail is going to wreak havoc on your emotional well-being. Instead, do your best to focus on your routine. Make sure that you’re rested, eating well, exercising, and going to work. This is an excellent time to do things that will be difficult to do with a new baby. Go on trips, take time off, invest in hobbies, and don’t forget date nights. Treat yourselves well during the uncertain times.
Let go of control. Most of the adoption process is out of your control. There’s no need to spend time fixating on outcomes. If it’s meant to be, it will be.
Learn about adoption. I encourage anyone going through the adoption process to learn everything about it. Understand the different perspectives on adoption, the expecting parents, and adoptees. The more you understand, the less you have to worry about and the better parent you will be when the time comes.

Yes, the adoption process is confusing and scary, but luckily these things can be remedied. Don’t be afraid to reach out to other families formed by adoption, learn the process to totality, and take care of yourself. I’ve also created the All About Adoption 101 Course and you’ll see that the more you understand about the adoption process, the less anxious you’ll be.

At the end of the day, take a deep breath and know that no matter what happens, you’ll make it through.

This blog post is provided for educational and informational purposes only. Our services are not financial, business or legal advice. The information presented here is not a guarantee that you will obtain any results or earn any money using our content. Adoption & Beyond, Inc. owns all copyrights to the materials presented here unless otherwise noted.