Check out the video on my YouTube channel HERE.
We talk a lot about red flags with birth mother scams, but what about red flags with adoption professionals themselves? Specifically adoption agencies?
Look, after 30+ years in this business, I’ve seen some absolutely wild stuff from people who call themselves adoption professionals that honestly makes me question how they’re still operating. I probably shouldn’t even be spilling this tea because it might make you lose all faith in the system, but someone needs to keep it real about what’s happening out there!
So let’s flip the script today and talk about the adoption agencies that should have YOU running for the hills.
No Education or Training Required
This is a HUGE red flag. If an agency doesn’t require education and training, run. Just run.
I know, I know, some families are like, “Oh, I don’t want to do that,” when we tell them about our education requirements. But every single family comes back saying, “Oh my gosh, that was so helpful! I’m so glad you made us go through that.”
We’ve put serious time, thought, and effort into the education we require because it’s for your benefit AND your future child’s benefit. Any reputable agency should be investing in preparing you properly for this journey.
“Hold a Baby” for Money
If an agency offers to “hold a child for you” with a deposit while you get your paperwork done, that’s a hard NO.
Here’s the reality: there’s roughly one baby for every 60 families looking to adopt. Since COVID hit and adoptions dropped by 95% for most of the nation, there are even more adoptive families competing for every placement.
Why would an adoption agency ask you to put money down to hold a child specifically for you when there are 59 other families behind you ready to move forward? They wouldn’t. This is a scam, plain and simple.
False Urgency Tactics
Watch out for agencies that tell you to “make a decision in the next 24 hours or they’re moving on.” While you do need to make decisions because that mama deserves to be matched with a committed family, 24 hours is way too fast.
We usually give families 48 hours, and some agencies allow 72 hours to make an informed decision about moving forward. When you’re potentially putting down thousands of dollars to match with a particular mama, you want to feel secure in that choice. Don’t fall for false urgency; this isn’t a car dealership, and that’s pressure sales tactics, not ethical adoption practice.
Wait Times That Sound Too Good to Be True
If they promise wait times that seem unrealistic, chances are they ARE unrealistic.
Now, are there tools and techniques agencies can use to help reduce your wait time or give you tips to adopt more quickly? Absolutely! But when they’re promising placement within a month or even six months, be very careful. Those kinds of promises are usually too good to be true.
Downplaying Concerns
Be wary of any agency that downplays concerns about an adoption situation. They should be upfront and honest, discussing ALL the risks without minimizing anything.
You need to make informed decisions about whether a match is right for you, and that requires complete transparency. Be careful of agencies that downplay red flags and concerns in adoption matches. That’s not protecting you or setting you up for success.
No Post-Adoption Support
The last major red flag is working with agencies that don’t provide post-adoption support to you OR the birth parents.
Post-adoption support is key to everyone’s health and well-being, especially helping birth parents work through the grief process. If you’re working with a child-placing agency, they probably have some kind of post-adoption support available, but not always.
If you’re definitely not working with a child-placing agency, it’s really concerning that your birth mother probably won’t have post-adoption support available. It’ll be important for you to find those services elsewhere.
At our agency, we have support available to the mamas we work with, and even if families are doing self-networking and private adoption, those post-adoption services are still available to their birth mother as well.
The bottom line? Trust your gut. If something feels off about an agency’s practices, it probably is. Do your research, ask hard questions, and don’t be afraid to walk away if you’re seeing these red flags. Your adoption journey is too important to compromise on the quality of professional support you receive.
If you want more guidance on choosing the right adoption professional and navigating your journey safely, check out my All About Adoption 101 course or explore different adoption paths with Avenues of Adoption.
This blog post is provided for educational and informational purposes only. Our services are not financial, business, or legal advice. The information presented here is not a guarantee that you will obtain any results or earn any money using our content. Adoption & Beyond, Inc. owns all copyrights to the materials presented here unless otherwise noted.
