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So, you’re developing an open adoption with an expecting parent. What will that look like after placement? Where will you meet each other to continue building this important relationship? Today, we’re diving into common ways and places to meet up with your child’s birth family, especially when trust is still being built.
Meet at a Park
A neutral and common first step is meeting at a park. It’s an open space where everyone can feel comfortable. Whether it’s a stroll or a picnic, parks offer a relaxed environment for initial meetings. Plus, there’s something about fresh air and playgrounds that makes everyone feel at ease. It’s like a playdate but with slightly more emotions and fewer juice boxes.
Coffee Shops and Kid-Friendly Locations
Other popular spots include coffee shops and kid-friendly places like a zoo or aquarium, especially here in Kansas City. These settings provide a casual atmosphere for conversations while keeping kids entertained. And hey, who doesn’t bond over a good cup of coffee (or cocoa- for me) or watching fish swim?
Recreation Centers
If the weather isn’t park-friendly, consider meeting at a local YMCA or community center. These indoor spaces are neutral grounds where everyone can interact comfortably, regardless of the season. Plus, there’s usually a vending machine nearby for emergency snack attacks.
Virtual Meetups for Long-Distance Connections
For those adopting across state lines, virtual meetings can be a valuable way to maintain that face-to-face connection. While it’s not quite the same as being in person, it’s a step above letters, pictures, and phone calls. And let’s face it, seeing each other’s faces (even through a screen) can add a much-needed personal touch.
Community Events
Community events celebrating specific heritages can be a meaningful place to meet. These gatherings honor the birth family and child’s heritage, adding a layer of cultural connection to your meetings. Imagine bonding over a festival or parade—nothing brings people together quite like a shared celebration.
Families that Play Together, Stay Together!
The most important element of open adoption is the interaction between the child and the birth family. With that in mind, make sure that these meetings aren’t just between adults. I attended a meeting not too long ago where someone shared their experience about maintaining contact with the birth family as promised. They would meet at a park, but it was just the birth mother and the adoptive family sitting at a picnic table together, while the child played off by themselves. There was no interaction between the child and the birth family, which really defeats the purpose of open adoption. The child should actively participate, building a genuine connection with their birth family. Remember, the goal isn’t just to fulfill a promise or contract agreement, but to build a real, lasting bond. Let’s not turn these meetups into awkward picnics where the child plays alone while adults chat—everyone should join the fun!
Building Towards Home Visits
Over time, as trust builds, consider moving beyond neutral locations to more personal settings, such as each other’s homes. While this might take time, it’s an ultimate goal that deepens the bond and keeps the spirit of open adoption alive. Trust me, nothing says “we’re family” quite like sharing a meal at home or celebrating a birthday together. It might seem daunting at first, but it’s the endgame of a strong open adoption relationship.
Building a relationship with your child’s birth family through open adoption requires thoughtful planning and genuine interaction. By choosing comfortable, neutral meeting spots and gradually working towards more personal settings, you can foster a meaningful, lasting connection. Remember, open adoption is about ensuring the child has access to their birth family, and that everyone feels connected and supported.
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This blog post is provided for educational and informational purposes only. Our services are not financial, business, or legal advice. The information presented here is not a guarantee that you will obtain any results or earn any money using our content. Adoption & Beyond, Inc. owns all copyrights to the materials presented here unless otherwise noted.
