The Fear of Never Being Chosen For Adoption

Adoption, Adoption & Beyond News, Blog

When working with families looking to adopt, one of the most common and deeply held fears they have is that they’ll never be matched with expecting parents.

The reality is: that’s a valid fear.
They might not be matched with expecting parents.

But I am a firm believer, after all my years of working in adoption, that adoption is not if; it’s when.

If a family is persistent and they stay with it, no matter what happens, no matter what they experience or what heartache they face, if they stick with it, they’ll be matched. In my experience, I’ve had every family be able to match and adopt a child.

I usually give three pieces of advice when you’re looking to increase your chances of being matched with expecting parents:

  1. Work with more than one adoption professional.
    The more you put yourself out there and make yourself available, the more opportunities you have to be chosen. I firmly believe in not putting all your eggs in one basket and allowing yourself to work with more than one adoption professional. That can look many ways, but networking and branching out will let you cast that net as wide as possible.
  2. Make sure that your preferences for a child are broad.
    As much as possible, cast a wide net when considering your preferences for a child, which also includes your adoption budget. The more open you are with your adoption specifics, the more opportunities will come up for your profile to be shown. For example, the more open you are about the race, gender, and age of the child, as well as the mental health background of the expecting parents or any drugs and alcohol that are used during pregnancy, the more opportunities you will have to have your profile shown, and the more opportunities you’re going to have to be matched with expecting parents. Stay within your comfort level, and don’t open yourself up to a situation you aren’t totally prepared for, but the more open you are, the more opportunities you’ll have.
  3. Be sure that you have a professional adoption profile done.
    A profile is what expecting parents look at to help them learn more about your family and to know whether you’re the family that she would like to work with on an adoption plan. I always say you never have a second chance to make a first impression. The profile is the most vital piece of this entire adoption journey, and I recommend working with a profile expert.

The fear of never being chosen by an expecting parent is, a valid and real fear that adoptive families face. Understand that this journey and this process is one of taking stock and being honest with yourself about how wide a net you’re willing to cast – what kind of situations and child you are open to?

If you’re sorting through the process of adoption and trying to decide the best course of action for your family, I want to help. Check out my new mini-course, The Six Avenues of Adoption, where we cover how you can find all your options to increase your chances of finding the child meant for your home.

This blog post is provided for educational and informational purposes only. Our services are not financial, business or legal advice. The information presented here is not a guarantee that you will obtain any results or earn any money using our content. Adoption & Beyond, Inc. owns all copyrights to the materials presented here unless otherwise noted.

Check out the video on my YouTube channel HERE!

Steffany ave

Founder & Director

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Meet Steffany Aye, the heart behind Adoption & Beyond since its inception in 1998. Fueled by a deep passion for supporting both birth and adoptive parents, Steffany's journey as an adoptive parent has continued the foundation for this non-profit adoption agency.

Drawing from more than 25 years of dedicated experience, Steffany and her team are committed to crafting warm, thriving families through child-centered adoptions. Their inclusive services, free from any form of discrimination, reflect Steffany's unwavering dedication to the beautiful tapestry of adoption.

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