3 Ways to Respond to “When Are You Going to Have Kids?”

Adoption, Adoption & Beyond News, Blog, Thoughts

Check out the video on my YouTube channel HERE!

The question of when a couple is going to have children is a common one, and it can be uncomfortable to answer, especially for those who are struggling with infertility or have chosen adoption as their path to parenthood. In my most recent video on the Adoption & Beyond YouTube channel, I share some responses that can be helpful for people in this situation.

When it comes to adoption, there are generally three approaches that you can take when answering questions: ignoring them, answering them truthfully, or answering them with humor. 

Here are five possible responses you can use if you are asked when you’re going to have kids:

  • You can say, “We would love to have kids, but it just hasn’t happened for us yet.” 
  • Or you can say, “When we decide to have kids, you’ll be one of the first to know.”
  • If you’re religious, you can say, “Ask God because I sure don’t know.” You can apply this to any higher being. 
  • Another response could be, “We recently found out we’re infertile and we’re seeing a specialist. We’ll be sure to keep you posted when anything happens.” 
  • And lastly, you can simply say, “You ask me this question every year, can we just agree that you won’t ask and I’ll be sure to tell you when I have something to share?”

Having responses ready to go in these situations can be incredibly helpful because it can help you feel more prepared and confident when faced with these types of questions. It’s common for people to feel caught off guard or uncomfortable when they’re asked personal questions like, “When are you going to have kids?” Having a few responses prepared can help you feel more in control of the conversation and less vulnerable to prying questions.

Additionally, having boundaries around these types of questions can be a healthy way to protect your privacy and emotional well-being. Some people may not be comfortable sharing personal details about their lives with others, especially if they’re going through a difficult or sensitive situation, such as infertility or adoption. By setting boundaries around these questions, you can create a safe space for yourself and feel more in control of the conversation.

It’s important to remember that you have the right to decide what information you share with others and how much detail you provide. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your personal choices or circumstances, and it’s okay to politely decline to answer questions that you’re not comfortable with. By establishing healthy boundaries around these types of questions, you can feel more empowered and in control of your own narrative.

Don’t forget to watch my latest video https://youtu.be/afRSP1j7HuE for additional insights.

If adoption is on your mind, you won’t want to overlook our indispensable manual on the home study procedure. Explore the Adoption & Beyond website to access a treasure trove of resources and comprehensive guides on how to get ready for adoption, including the home study process.

Begin your adoption journey and take the first step towards creating a family that will last a lifetime! Additionally, if you’re unsure about which of the six routes to adoption is suitable for you and your loved ones, consider registering for The Six Avenues of Adoption course.

This blog post is provided for educational and informational purposes only. Our services are not financial, business or legal advice. The information presented here is not a guarantee that you will obtain any results or earn any money using our content. Adoption & Beyond, Inc. owns all copyrights to the materials presented here unless otherwise noted.

Steffany ave

Founder & Director


Connect With Me

Meet Steffany Aye, the heart behind Adoption & Beyond since its inception in 1998. Fueled by a deep passion for supporting both birth and adoptive parents, Steffany's journey as an adoptive parent has continued the foundation for this non-profit adoption agency.

Drawing from more than 25 years of dedicated experience, Steffany and her team are committed to crafting warm, thriving families through child-centered adoptions. Their inclusive services, free from any form of discrimination, reflect Steffany's unwavering dedication to the beautiful tapestry of adoption.

We’d love to help you reach your goals.


I am Pregnant.

I want to Adopt.