The adoption journey provides many stories, each person’s unique and special. However, often the stories available to birth and potential adoptive parents focus more on the adoptive parent side. It’s important to hear and celebrate everyone’s stories and so we are launching our new series that highlights birth mothers and fathers.
We think you’ll find these interview stories generous in spirit and personally touching. And perhaps they will address some questions or concerns for any of you who are considering adoption. Our first interview in this series comes from Amber, a birthmother, and next week we will feature Matthew’s story (the birthfather).
If you have any questions about the adoption process, you can always contact us.
Why did you choose adoption?
The pregnancy was unplanned, and I knew I did not want to have children. Early in the pregnancy there was a lot going on in my life and finances were tight. I looked into getting an abortion but could not arrange it within the allotted time so I turned to adoption as my next option.
What are you able to do now that you would not be able to do had you decided to parent your child?
For me, having to parent a child would have been very emotionally and mentally detrimental. The pregnancy itself caused me a lot of depression. I believe having to raise a child myself would also put a lot of strain on my personal relationship with my partner. Placing the child for adoption lets me live my life the way I want, and it gives me a freedom that having a child does not allow.
What are your feelings about the adoptive family? What kind of relationship do you have with them?
I really like the adoptive family. They seem like nice, good, friendly people, and I think they are a great choice as the parents of my child. During the pregnancy I had a good relationship with them. We had a few get-togethers and got along well. They were very helpful and supportive with anything I needed help with. Because of my desire not to interact with the child, I will probably have no further contact with the family now that they have the baby.
Have your family and friends been supportive?
It was my choice not inform most of my family of the pregnancy. My sister was aware of it, and she was very supportive. She has two children but understands that having kids is not the right choice for me. All of my friends were very supportive of my choice and actively helped with the process, like transportation to appointments when needed and with chores around the house.
Can you talk a little about your experience with Adoption & Beyond?
My experience with Adoption & Beyond was very positive. They were helpful and informative regarding the adoption process and what to expect. The staff I had contact with were very friendly. They really helped make the adoption process as easy and efficient as possible. They did their best to help me find the right family for my child, and through them we found a great family. They were all very understanding and supportive. Having them to work with made a difficult situation a lot easier to deal with.
Is there anything else you would like to say?
I know that adoption was the right choice for me. While being pregnant was a very trying period in my life, on the whole, the experience strengthened my personal relationship with my partner. Since giving birth and having the child placed in the care of the adoptive family, I have felt much better emotionally. I have no regrets about the adoption.