Mother’s Day is a wonderful holiday when we all get to celebrate the incredible journey that is birth and the beauty and power of women all over the world who are mothers, grandmothers, and caretakers for all of us as we go through life. It is a powerful day, but it can sometimes feel complicated when it comes to open adoptions. The good news is that it doesn’t have to feel that way and we have a few suggestions for how to navigate Mother’s Day this year.
Start with Communication
Perhaps most important is being sure to talk about any concerns or feelings you have about Mother’s Day, well before the day arrives. This includes talking with your family and with the birthmother, if you are in regular communication.
No one but you can dictate what the best route is, as each open adoption determines what works best for them all. But if you are all speaking, then it’s good to start the discussion early so that everyone has a chance to speak about any concerns or make any requests. It may be that you all wish to spend time together ot you may divide the day. Whatever the solution, it’s good to plan in advance so everyone knows what to expect.
Mother’s Day is a powerful day for birthmothers and adoptive parents and sharing in that day together can start a beautiful tradition.
Make a Plan
Don’t let the day creep up on you! If you want to dine in a specific place or attend a special event, be sure to set it up early. Having a plan will keep stress levels low and prevent any confusion, especially if your day is full of all kinds of mothers.
Talk to Your Family
If you and the birthmother make a plan for the day, be sure to tell your extended family who may be joining in any celebrations with you. Not only will telling them give you the support you need on Mother’s Day, but it will prevent any awkward questions or confusion, too. Mother’s Day should be a day full of love and happiness, and announcing your plans will get everyone on board well before the big day.
In Their Own Words
If you haven’t yet read our Birthparent Series, In Their Own Words, check them out to see many wonderful, open, and honest perspectives from birth mothers and fathers. These might help you with new ideas on how to approach Mother’s Day this year.