Building your adoption team is like assembling the Paperwork Avengers. You’re going to need social workers, attorneys, financial planners, counselors, and basically everyone except a partridge in a pear tree.
These people will be your go-to squad for the next year or so, which means you’d better make sure they’re actually good at their jobs and won’t make you question all your life choices. Let’s talk about how to pick the best for YOU.
Do Your Detective Work
Step one is doing your homework like your future family depends on it (because it kind of does). Read reviews, ask for references, and channel your inner investigative journalist.
But remember that with online reviews, you need to read them with a massive grain of salt. I’ve seen people leave scathing reviews about adoption professionals who had absolutely nothing to do with what went wrong in their adoption process. Sometimes people are angry and upset about how their adoption turned out, and they need someone to blame, so they target the professionals even when those professionals did everything right.
It’s like leaving a one-star review for your dentist because you got a speeding ticket on the way to your appointment. The anger is real, but it’s pointed at the wrong target.
Tap Into Your Network
Ask for recommendations from literally everyone you know: family, friends, coworkers, that neighbor who always knows everyone’s business. I promise you there’s someone in your life who has worked with someone in the adoption field, even if you don’t know it yet.
People love giving advice about professionals they’ve worked with, especially when it comes to something as important as adoption. Plus, personal recommendations often come with the inside scoop about what someone is really like to work with beyond their professional website bio.
The Compatibility Test
Make sure their values and ethics line up with yours. This is like picking a roommate, you want someone you actually like and can tolerate living with for an extended period, except in this case, “living with” means “trusting with your entire adoption journey.”
Take this seriously. I’ve had families tell me they really wish they had spent more time choosing their adoption professionals instead of just going with the first person they found or whoever seemed cheapest.
Trust me, it takes way less time and effort to do the research upfront than it does to switch professionals midstream. Changing adoption professionals halfway through your process is like trying to change drivers while the car is speeding down the highway – technically possible, but messy and stressful for everyone involved.
Red Flags to Watch For
Pay attention to how quickly they respond to your initial inquiries. If they can’t be bothered to return your calls when they’re trying to get your business, what do you think will happen once you’ve signed on the dotted line?
Notice whether they actually listen to your questions or just give you generic responses that could apply to anyone. You want professionals who see you as an individual with specific needs, not just another case file to process.
Trust your gut about whether they seem genuinely invested in your success or just going through the motions. The right professionals will make you feel supported and informed, not confused and anxious.
Ask the Right Questions
Don’t be shy about grilling potential professionals. This is your adoption journey, not theirs, and you deserve to know exactly what you’re signing up for.
Ask about their experience, their success rates, their communication style, their fees (all of them, not just the pretty ones they advertise), and what happens if things go sideways. The good ones will appreciate your thoroughness because it shows you’re taking this seriously.
The Investment That Pays Off
Finding the right adoption professionals is one of the most important investments you’ll make in your adoption journey. These people can make the difference between a smooth process and a year of unnecessary stress and complications.
Don’t choose based solely on price. The cheapest option often ends up costing you more in the long run through delays, complications, or having to start over with someone else.
Your adoption team should make you feel confident and supported, not like you’re constantly wondering if they know what they’re doing. The right professionals will guide you through this process without you having to second-guess every decision or worry about whether important details are falling through the cracks.
Want comprehensive guidance on building your adoption team and asking the right questions? Check out my All About Adoption 101 course that includes detailed worksheets for vetting adoption professionals. Ready to explore your options with confidence? The Avenues of Adoption course will help you understand what to look for in each type of professional.
For additional support from families who’ve been through the professional-finding process, consider joining my Facebook Support Group, where adoptive families share recommendations and their experiences with different adoption professionals.
This blog post is provided for educational and informational purposes only. Our services are not financial, business, or legal advice. The information presented here is not a guarantee that you will obtain any results or earn any money using our content. Adoption & Beyond, Inc. owns all copyrights to the materials presented here unless otherwise noted.
