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A Guide to Creating a New Family: by Edmund Blair Bolles
No Review Written
***Adoptiong the Older Child: by Claudia Jewett, Ph.D.***
This book focuses primarily on domestic adoption of older children (though international adoption
is referenced occasionally). However, many of the issues discussed about adoption of older children
apply to international adoption as well. Especially impressive is the emphasis on adoption as a great plan,
not plan B. It provides information about the home study and what social workers are looking for during
the home study process. Much of the information in this book would be helpful in preparing social workers
for better assessment of parents interested in adopting older children, listing criteria needed in prospective
adoptive parents of older children. The last half of the book addresses common challenges children adopted
at an older age experience, from separation anxiety to passive-aggressive behavior, and much more. It offers
tangible responses to deal with these challenges that parents will find useful.
Adoption Parenting: Creating a Toolbox, Building Connecitons:
by Jean MacLeod and Sheena Macrae
This is a how to care for your adopted child handbook. It covers most of the basic parenting challenges
experienced when a child first comes home. The target audience is adoptive parents of kids adopted
domestically and internationally, so it takes into account much more than other books with only a domestic focus.
It provides a variety of options for dealing with sleeping, eating and discipline issues that take into account
the special issues that orphaned children bring. It also deals with language development, fostering attachment,
dealing with siblings and much more. This is a very helpful user’s manual for adoptive families.
Carried Safely Home: The Spiritual Legacy of an Adoptive Family: by Kristin Swick Wong
This book is truly what the title states, the spiritual journey related to adopting internationally.
It is filled with scriptural encouragement that helped the author and her family survive a one year
delay in bringing their son home from Vietnam after they received his referral pictures. It is a very honest,
human story of loving and trusting God, yet struggling with faith at the same time. This book will be extremely
helpful, especially during the waiting period, when there is nothing to do but wait and trust God.
Dim Sum, Bagel and Grits: by A Sourcebook for Multicultural Families
This is an up-to-date book written by the mother of a child adopted from China that encourages parents to
appreciate and validate the culture and race the child was born in. Numerous resources are provided to help
parents learn more.
How It Feels to be Adopted: by Jill Krementz
This is a book written by children who were adopted. All but one story was from a child adopted domestically.
One is by a child adopted from Korea . It is interesting to see children's perspectives on birth parents and
being adopted. A valuable book for adoptive parents (easy reading). When children by adoption are older (teens)
they might find it interesting as well.
Launching a Baby's Adoption: by Patricia Donner
No Review Written
Lifebooks: Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child: by Beth O-Malley
This is a terrific book that many eager pre-adoptive parents may want to start on during the waiting period.
Many adoptive parents enjoy scrap booking and this is one way to do scrap booking for an adopted child.
Gives practical ways to document international adoption in a lifebook format.
Making Sense of Adoption, A Parent's Guide: by Lois Melina
No Review Written
**Raising Adopted Children: by Lois Melina**
This is intended as an ‘everything you ever wanted to know about adoption, but were afraid to ask’ kind of book.
It offers helpful advice during the waiting stages. Addresses open-adoption, which doesn’t apply to families
adopting internationally. It is good grist for thinking about how significant name choice is, especially if a
child is going to be called the same name as one of the parents. Is the expectation that the child will be just
like the parent? Deals effectively with adjustment and grief issues.
Real Parents, Real Children, Parenting the Adopted Child: by Gulden and Baretls-Rabb
This book is about helping adoptive parents understand the inner world of children adopted at various ages
(birth to 18). It emphasizes the unique concerns and needs of children by adoption while valuing and empowering
adoptive families. The book begins with discussing grief and loss issues, bonding and how to help a child
transition into an adoptive family. The last two-thirds of the book address unique issues at various ages and
developmental stages.
***The Russian Adoption Handbook: by John H. Maclean***
This is a must read for every family adopting from Russia! It covers everything from Russian history and
culture to home studies and working with immigrations. It provides an excellent understanding of life in
Russia today and the status of Russian orphanages. It provides very helpful information for families
traveling to Russia for adoption. On the down side, any book written on Russian adoption is outdated the
day it is published. Requirements for Russian adoption change frequently.
***Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft: by Mary Hopkins Best***
“Sometimes I just want to curl up I a ball and be a little baby again so someone will take care of me.
Other times I want to do everything myself and I feel like running away from you. Please be patient.
We have a long time together…” Thus begins an excellent book that helps parents adopting toddlers understand
the special issues that a newly adopted toddler will bring. Reasons for adopting a toddler are explored,
discouraging parents from adopting a toddler for the wrong reasons. Challenges related to attachment and
grief work are explained, giving room to recognize that some children are quite resilient and don’t wrestle
with these issues as much as other children adopted as toddlers. Hopkins-Best does an excellent job explaining
normal developmental issues for toddlers, which are very important, especially for first time parents to be
aware of. Community resources are discussed with directions on how to obtain services. Every parent planning to
adopt a toddler should read this book.
The Family of Adoption: by Dr. Joyce Pava
No Review Written
***The Lost Daughters of China: by Karen Evans***
Written by an adoptive mother who wants her daughter to understand how she came to be adopted and to grow
up in the US. Evans emphasizes the low value girls/women have historically held and continue to hold in China.
She tells the story of their adoption journey in the late 1990’s. Some things have changed since this book was
written, for example the United States Immigration and Naturalization Service is now the United States Citizenship
and Immigration Service. China has significantly improved the processing of adoption applications and increased
the number of children available for adoption. Support groups are now much more available, both on-line and in
person. Evans is a wonderful journalist and does a good job of painting a picture of her China experience that
many adoptive parents will relate to. The balancing of trying to help the child understand they are from China
without making them feel different (i.e. less a part of the rest of the family), while helping them value their
race and heritage is also nicely addressed. Evans emphasizes the value of growing up with other children who are
also adopted from China as an excellent way of helping children cope with the differences they will encounter in a
predominantly white community.
**The Whole Life Adoption Book: Realistic Advice for Building a Healthy Adoptive Family
by Jayne E. Schooler**
As long as parents realize that this is a book written for families adopting domestically this is a very useful
book for any adoptive parent. One of the early chapters is on what constitutes a healthy family prepared for
adoption, is excellent. It even includes, as the final point, values that stem from faith in God. Some issues
are irrelevant to families adopting internationally. For example, the issue of whether or not to tell the child
they are adopted is not even an issue for families adopting from Asia or Central America. It could be a question
for families adopting from Eastern Europe. I especially like the chapter on creating a nurturing family—which
draws on biblical references to support unconditional love for a child. This book is a must read for all adoptive
parents.
Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew: by Sherrie Eldridge
No Review Written
Adoption Without Fear: by James Gritter
No Review Written
The Open Adoption Experience: by Lois Melina and Sharon Kaplan Roszia
No Review Written
Boundaries with Kids: by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
This is an excellent book from Focus on the Family, on setting effective, firm boundaries with children. It uses a Christian
perspective and is a useful guide, especially for school age children.
Different Children, Different Needs: Understnding the Unique Personaltiy of Your Child:
by Charles Boyd and Robert A. Rohn
This is an incredibly valuable book, written from a Christian perspective. It is especially important for
parents of children by adoption, though the book is designed for any parent. The basic premise of the book is
that children come with different temperaments that make up the child’s personality. When a child and parent
have very different temperaments conflict happens along with parenting challenges. It is also hard to be a kid
when you aren’t the person your parents hoped you would be. The book presents a rather complex model to help
parents determine what their personality is like and how to determine their child’s personality. By recognizing
these differences specific guidelines are provided on how to respond to your child’s uniqueness. Children by
adoption are even more likely than children by birth, to come with temperaments different from their (adoptive)
parents, making it especially important to read this book and help your child become who they were created to be
rather than a miniature version of their parent by adoption.
The Keys to Your Child's Heart: by Dr. Gary Smalley
Good advice on how to be sensitive to your children’s needs and having a close family.
Parenting at the Speed of Life: 60 Ways to Capture Time with Your Kids (Focus on the Family):
by Rick Osborne
This is a list of 60 practical suggestions to communicate to your child that you love them. This smart little
book is written from a Christian dad’s perspective.
Parenting with Love and Logic: by Foster Cline, M.D. and Jim Fay
This book advocates logical consequences for children’s behavior. This is an excellent guide for responding
to children’s misbehavior effectively. Good advice on effective parenting. Written from a Christian
perspective that includes biblical quotes and illustrations.
She Calls Me Daddy: Seven things Every Man Needs to Know about Builing a Complete Daughter:
by Robert Wolgemuth
This is an easy read book for fathers, from a Christian perspective, written by a non-professional
(not a counselor, psychologist, etc), but a thoughtful and caring father. As the father of five daughters I
found it rather basic, but perhaps a new father would find it helpful to consider important issues like the value
of protecting your daughter from physical and emotional harm. Wolgemuth’s greatest point is the value of father’s
not just focusing on their sons, but developing a life long relationship with their daughters, so their daughters
will feel safe and confident coming to them for advice.
The New First Three Years of Life: by Burton White
This is a guide to normal growth and development and recommends parenting methods to maximize a child’s physical,
emotional and cognitive development. It does not address adoption issues. However, it is helpful for parents to
know what to expect of a child at different ages. For example a parent that brings home a child at 16 months
shouldn’t expect to be potty training any time soon, even for a child by birth. This is an excellent book for
any new parent’s book shelf.
Adoptiong the Hurt Child: Hope for Families with Special-Needs Kids: A Guide for Adoption:
by Gregory C, Keck, Regina M. Kupecky
This is an excellent book for adoptive parents of children known to have the baggage of abuse, neglect and or
adoption at an older age. It provides many vignettes that identify issues children may be dealing with.
It provides excellent insight into the reactions of siblings to the entry of a child by adoption into the family.
There are a number of excellent suggestions for parents to implement to assist their children in coping with past
history. If parents decide they wish to seek counseling/therapy for their child there is a chapter that describes
various types of interventions.
Worried no More: Help and Hope for Anxious Children: by Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D.
This is a very valuable book for parents (post-adoption) if their children are struggling with anxiety,
including separation anxiety, night terrors or other extreme fears experienced by some children. It provides
specific instructions on how to effectively reduce anxiety and respond in helpful ways to children’s excessive fears.
Adoption is Okay: by Sylvia Rohde
This is a book for older children adopted from Russia that tells the story of how children from Russia
wind up adopted by a family living in the United States. It provides basic but helpful encouragement for
families adopting from Russia. It is written in English and Russian, which would be particularly valuable
for children adopted when they are old enough to read Russian.
A Sister for Matthew: by Pamela Kennedy
This book is written to help prepare young children for a new child by adoption coming into the family.
It explores the fears and insecurities children may experience, especially after the baby comes home.
It encourages parents to reinforce their older child’s position and value in the family. Though the book
focuses specifically on adoption from China it would be helpful for families adopting internationally from a
variety of countries.
At Home in This World: by Jean MacLeod
This is a wonderful story of adoption in the words of a little girl in elementary school, who was adopted
from china at about age 1. It addresses issues of the loss of connection with birth parents, culture and country,
as well as valuing the love and permanency of an adopted forever family. This is the story of how one child was
adopted from China, explaining the reasons for adoption and how she came to live with her forever family in America.
Brown-Eyed Girl Series: by Sarah H. Ledford
Sarah Ledford is an adoptive mom who has written three wonderful books to help children understand why their
birth mothers had to let them go, life in an orphanage and the transition home. They are written in child-friendly
language and capture the love that only an adoptive parent could express through out. These are the most wonderful
books I’ve seen to help children adopted from China to celebrate their experience. The books are available through
the author’s website: www.browneyedgirlbooks.com. All proceeds go to support orphaned children in China.
Chinese Eyes: by Marjorie A. Waybill
This is a book for children in the early school age years. It deals with teasing regarding the shape of little
Becky’s eyes. Her mother discusses the differences between her Caucasian eyes and Becky’s Asian eyes. This book
was written for children adopted from Korea, but the truth and issues are just as pertinent for children adopted
from any Asian country. It doesn’t deal with how to respond to teasing, but opens up a dialog a parent can have
with their child around the differences in appearance for Asian children, especially those adopted into Caucasian
families.
Happy Adoption Day!: by Foster Cline, M.D. and Jim Fay
No Review Written
I Love You Like Crazy Cakes: by Rose Lewis
No Review Written
Is That Your Sister? A True Story of Adoption: by Catherine and Sherry Burnin
This is a wonderful story for children ages 6-10 about living in a family with multiple domestic adoptions.
It would be helpful for families with children by adoption who are adopting a subsequent child. It explores
feelings about being adopted and looking different than parents. It also taps into some sibling rivalry issues.
It doesn’t touch on international adoption at all, but many of the issues are the same.
Our Baby from China: by Nancy D. Antonio
This book is intended to be read to a child adopted from China. It is one family’s story of their journey to
bring their child home in language a young child can understand. The pictures are beautiful. It’s well done,
but not as good as making up their own book with their own pictures and their own story of their journey to China.
Waiting for May: by Janet Stoeke
This book is designed for the same purpose as A sister for Matthew, however is more informative, so would be
particularly useful for a young school age child who is planning to go with parents to China to adopt a younger
sister. This is a warm and wonderful book, that is very accurate in describing the adoption process, beginning
with the home study. If you only buy one book to prepare siblings for a new sibling from China this is the one
to buy.
When You Were Born in China: by Sara Darow and Stephen Wunrow
This is the best book for photographs of children, adults and landmarks in China that tells the story of
China adoptions. Children and parents alike will enjoy reading the story of adoptions and sharing the
wonderful photographs together.
China's Lost Girls: by Nationa Geographic
Journalist Lisa Ling travels with a group of families adopting from China. This is a wonderful visual of
family’s excitement and joy when meeting their children. It provides a positive and beautiful picture of China,
the people, landscape and culture. The film also presents concerns about long term repercussions of China’s one
child policy.
Books can be ordered by contacting:
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