TIPS FOR CREATING
YOUR ADOPTION PROFILE


PUTTING TOGETHER A PROFILE: A Quick Overview

The goal of your Profile is to connect with a birth family that is right for you. To do so, you must provide honest information to enable a prospective birth family to form accurate impressions of yourselves. You want to create a picture of your family, so a prospective birth parent can imagine who you are.

Your Profile will consist of two elements:

  1. Your Dear Birth Parent Letter
  2. Your Photo Portfolio

SECTION 1: Writing The Dear Birth Parent Letter:

The Dear Birth Parent Letter is your written opportunity to introduce your family and share your feelings about adopting a child.

Generally, the letter is 1-2 pages long and includes a clear, casual, 3x5 photo of yourselves. Your Dear Birth Parent Letter will become a part of your Photo Portfolio, as you will include it in either the front or the back.

We encourage you to send your Dear Birth Parent Letter to family and friends. This lets them know of your intentions to adopt, and they can then share it with others who may know of an expectant mother looking at adoption.

Feel free to organize your letter in the way that most seems natural to you. The following are some topics to include in your letter:

Family Life:
  • Introduce yourself.
  • Describe marriage, years together, and length of marriage, if applicable.
  • Include brief description of child(ren) already in the home.
  • Describe briefly any pets.

Decision to Adopt:
  • Write one sentence about your infertility experience (if applicable) and what brought you to the decision to adopt.
  • What does adoption mean to you and your desire to become a parent?
  • What appeals to you about the adoption arrangement you have chosen?
  • Add any comments about your personal connection to adoption or adopted persons.

Desire for a Child:
  • Describe what a child would mean to you and what a child would bring to your life.
  • Include any memories from your own childhood you want to recreate.
  • What experiences have you had in caring for children?

Home:
  • Describe the living situation into which your child will come.
  • Include neighborhood information and general geographical location
    • rural/urban
    • name of city or nearest major community

Extended Family:
  • Discuss your family support system.
  • Who and where are they?
  • What will your child gain from experiences with extended family?
  • Share their thoughts and feelings about your decision to adopt.

Work/Education:
  • Discuss occupation(s).
  • Child care arrangements after parent(s) returns to work?

Religion:
  • If applicable, what roles does religion/church attendance/participation play in your lives?
  • Let her know your involvement in your local church and what your faith means to you personally.

Hobbies:
  • Describe hobbies and leisure activities.

Openness:
  • Whatever degree of openness you are comfortable with, let her know. It is very comforting to a birth mother to know that she is not just handing her baby over to someone, never to hear about the family or baby again.

Closing:
  • Sign the bottom of each letter personally. You may also add, “If you are interested in speaking with us, please contact us at … or call our social worker (or attorney), Steffany at 913-381-6919.” You may also place Adoption & Beyond’s toll-free birth parent line on your letter: 1-800-336-0603.

Some additional tips to remember:

  • Make it personable. We discourage opening your letter “Dear Birth Parents” or “Dear Birth mom.” Just say hello or use some other informal salutation. Do not date your letter. Use your first names in your letter. Do not refer to yourself as “The Adoptive Family.” You are real, living human beings; let this come through.
  • Keep it easy to read. Keep the language simple; you are not trying to impress her with your command of the English language but with your genuine desire for a child and the love that you can provide to that child. Avoid using the phrase “our” child. Some birth mothers may interpret this simple phrase as an assumption you believe this child is already yours.
  • Be sensitive to her needs. Let her know that you realize she does care about her child and this decision.
  • Let your personalities come through. Let your letter be personal and unique. It is important to be yourself.

Attachment: **The book Reaching Out: The Guide to Writing a Terrific Dear Birthmother Letter by Nelson Handel is an excellent resource to aid in writing this letter. It provides a much more detailed and comprehensive guide, as well as providing some helpful information to aid in clarifying your writing. If you are having difficulty getting started writing or just want some different ideas, this book is highly recommended. You may purchase the book through the Internet.







SECTION 2: Designing Your Photo Portfolio

A Photo Portfolio is a picture story of your life as a family. It is like a scrapbook containing pictures of you, any children, close relatives, friends, pets, your home, important occasions, and/or favorite activities.

Photo Portfolios are not beauty contests. They are designed for prospective birth parents to form an impression of who you are and to provide a visual description of your family. Again, the goal is to connect with a prospective birth family that is right for you.

Typically, the prospective birth parents will be forming their initial impressions of you from your Photo Portfolio. While the creation of a Photo Portfolio does take effort, the time, care, and concern that you invest in the preparation will come across to the prospective birth parents.

Putting it together:

Binder selection:


  • Choose a flat/thin notebook/binder book in which pages can be rearranged and added.
  • Another idea which works really well is to create your pages and then have them laminated and spiral bound.
  • Also, make sure the binder you choose can be easily mailed.
  • If desired, you may wish to select a theme to be sparingly used throughout the book. (Remember: the Photo Portfolio is aimed at the prospective birth parents; using a “baby” theme throughout your Portfolio would probably not be appropriate.)

Dear Birth Parent Letter:


  • Include your letter in the front or back of your photo portfolio.

Selection of pictures:


  • Use pictures of yourself, special people in your lives, and important life events in chronological or thematic order.
  • You might include pictures of:
    • your dating years and wedding
    • holidays with family and friends
    • vacations
    • your home (inside and out)
    • favorite activities or hobbies.
  • Include pictures of yourself in casual clothing doing the things you enjoy.

Number of pictures:


  • Place no more than five pictures on a page.
  • This may sound like a lot of pictures, but if you trim them, you can fit about five comfortably.
  • Using round and oval stencils makes for nicely trimmed pictures.
  • Include no more than ten photo pages in your book.

Captions:


  • Write captions for each picture or set of pictures.
  • It is better to type these, if your handwriting is illegible.
  • When referring to yourself, use your first name.
  • Personalize the information as much as possible.
  • Answer the questions:
    • Who are these people pictured in your book?
    • Why are they important in your life?

Finishing Up:


  • When you are satisfied with your portfolio, bring it in to Adoption & Beyond to review.
  • Then, take the finished product to a shop that provides color copying and have several copies made. (Copy shops can also laminate and/or bind these pages.)
  • Keep at least two copies at home.
  • Once you adopt a child, your portfolio makes a lovely beginning to the baby book.

Many birth families will treasure the Photo Portfolio and will save it over a lifetime.




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