The path from infertility to adoption

Photo by Thomas.

Like so many adoptive families, you may have struggled or are currently struggling with infertility. How do you know when it’s time to quit fertility treatments and make the decision to adopt? When will you be ready?

The common consensus is that you’ll never “know” that you are ready. It’s a conscious decision to step off the current path and try a new route to parenthood. While it’s important to face any issues that infertility has raised for you or your marriage, there is a grieving process and a new exciting journey that can and will happen concurrently.

Be kind to yourself and let those emotions co-exist. You don’t have to put your old dreams of becoming a biological parent to rest before you begin the next chapter of becoming an adoptive parent.

There are great resources and bloggers to seek out if you are at this crossroads. You’ll encounter a very raw and honest account of infertility from Casey Berna at modernmom.com about her infertility and new journey into adoption. Resolve.org, the National Infertility Association, has a series of articles about Finding Resolution. They provide some insightful questions and advice about moving forward in the process of becoming parents.

Shelagh Little shares her experience after accepting infertility in the NY Times Parenting Blog. While she doesn’t choose adoption, she provides an honest look at the difficulty of life after infertility.

The Infertility and Adoption Counseling Center has a wonderful article about going through this process with a partner and how to manage each person’s different coping styles. Check out Come Unity’s overview of the stages between infertility and adoption if you are looking further down the adoption path.

The blog Not Sugar Coated gives a long term look at one family’s journey to adoption. There is an interview on the blog Amateur Nester with the adoptive mother of a 2-year-old son. She’s been through infertility treatments, foster care and now adoption, so she has some fabulous insights.

Finally, there is a book referenced over and over again in these articles and blogs. Patricia Irwin Johnston’s Adoption After Infertility is a highly recommended resource for anyone at any stage of infertility treatments or moving into the adoption process. It’s a great guide for singles and couples stepping through the big decisions of family planning.

Are there other blogs or resources that helped you or someone you know in the move from infertility to adoption? Please share on Facebook!