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Q. Will we ever get picked? Isn"t it just the "fancy" people that are chosen?
A. It is normal to worry about whether or not one will be chosen. The truth is we never know what the next prospective birth family is looking for. In our experience, birth parents like people who are friendly, active and stable. Most of all, though, they are looking for families they can feel comfortable with and trust.
Q. How long does it take to receive a child?
A. While this is a reasonable question, it is also one we can"t answer very clearly. In the old days there was a list that people worked their way up. It was a system that ignored compatibility between families, but it did have the advantage of predictability. That system is long gone--there is no list to work your way up. In the era of birth family selection, there is little predictability. Some families wait days once they enter the pool of available families and other wait a year or more.
Q. How often do prospective birth parents change their minds?
A. One thing is certain: There is no such thing as a sure placement; prospective birth parents sometimes change their minds. In our experience only about 10% of prospective birth parents change their mind about adoption.
Q. Could the birth parents someday take the baby back even after all the legal work is done?
A. Adoption is a legal process and, in the legal world, it seems that all things are possible. While their can be no guarantees, an important advantage of our no-pressure approach is that birth parents decisions are less subject to regret. It is also worth noting that current research about open adoption supports the idea that the greater the contact between the adoptive and birth family, the greater the security each feels.
Q. What if we are selected by someone we don"t feel comfortable working with?
A. There is usually an initial meeting where participants have an opportunity to get to know each other without any obligation. If it doesn"t feel like a good connection, it is possible to go back to the drawing board without too much awkwardness. Up until the point where legal commitments are made, both families have the right to set aside prior plans.
Q. What if the baby is born unhealthy?
A. This is a very important question. This does not happen often and when it does, some birth parents will decide to raise the baby themselves. In the remaining situations, the prospective adoptive family must decide either to move ahead with the adoption or step back so another adoptive family more prepared for this particular challenges can be identified.
Q. Can we get a home study assessment from the agency and do the rest on our own?
A. Yes there are agencies around the state that will only offer its program entirely. However, we believe this is your adoption experience and we encourage our couples to try every avenue available to locate a birth family.
Q. Will we receive medical or background information on the birth parents?
A. Yes, we gather as much information as possible regarding the birth parents medical and family history and provide this to you.
Q. What will be the total cost for the entire adoption?
A. There are several factors that determine the total cost for an adoption, including the type of adoption you choose to pursue. Variables such as medical bills, living and legal expenses can be very different from one adoption to the next. However we make every effort to match you with birth parents whose needs fall within your adoption budget.
Q. What can we do to help things "move along?"
A. The best policy is to complete requested tasks in an honest and timely manner. If you are confused, be sure to ask questions and if you have ideas and suggestions, please be sure to share them.
Q. Do you have anything to say to reassure us about the adoption process?
A. It"s good to be a little apprehensive. Adoption is a life-altering experience and ought to be approached judiciously. Perhaps the most helpful thing we can point out is that ninety-nine percent of adoptive families seeking adoption are successful. Stay flexible, be prepared for changes, stay positive, keep an open mind and take time to consider what adoption means to all the parties involved and all things will work out eventually.
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